Why So Many of Us Feel Lonely Today — And What We Can Actually Do About It

Many people nowadays don’t have many friends. According to recent studies, 26% of UK adults report feeling lonely at least some of the time.

I’ve noticed younger people — including those in their mid-teens to around age 25 — often seem to feel lonelier than any other group.

So what’s behind this growing sense of disconnection? Why are these numbers rising? And more importantly — do we actually want to change it, and how?

We Say We Want Connection, But Do We Really Try?

Have you ever wanted to put yourself out there, meet new people, maybe even make a friend?

So you go out, meet someone, have a great conversation… and then you say goodbye and go home. You wonder later — was it too much to ask for their number? Would it have been awkward to suggest meeting again?

And so nothing happens.

Or maybe you did exchange numbers — but then no one followed through.

Did you send a message? Did they? If they messaged you first, did you say yes to meeting again? Or say you were busy and would let them know later?

Maybe you even scheduled something in two weeks — and then forgot about it.

Was it procrastination? Lack of interest? Or were you just overwhelmed and tired?

You might say you work too much. That you have no time.

But if you still crave human connection, maybe that’s a sign your life isn’t in balance — and there’s more to this than just being “too busy.”

Why Do So Many Connections Fade?

Let’s say the meetup actually happened. You had a pleasant time, kept it light. But then… nothing.

Neither of you follows up. Even if it went well. Why?

And if you do see each other again a few times, eventually misunderstandings come up. Something small, but it builds.

But instead of talking about it, one person disappears — or both do.

Ghosted, or ghosting. Because apparently, that feels easier than talking about what didn’t feel right.

But is it?

I often hear people say they’d rather know what happened.

Yet, when someone finally expresses how they felt, the other person gets defensive. Disappointed. Hurt. And the connection ends anyway.

Why is it so hard to talk? Why do we take everything so personally? Why do we run away at the first uncomfortable moment?

It’s Okay to Talk About Feelings

It’s normal to have conflict — we all grew up with different beliefs, traumas, habits, ways of seeing the world.

What’s fine for one person might feel offensive to another — and that’s okay.

It’s okay to say, “Hey, that made me feel a bit off.”

It’s okay to talk about what’s happening — without blaming, without shaming.

And it’s okay for the other person to just listen and try to understand where you’re coming from.

That kind of honesty could actually bring people closer, instead of pulling them apart.

People Need to Learn How to Be Friends

We’re not really taught how to be friends. How to deal with awkward moments, or communicate clearly, or navigate misunderstandings.

It’s easier to keep everything light and surface-level.

To stay in our comfort zone.

To ghost instead of getting real.

But friendship is something we build, and it takes some discomfort along the way.

If you want to have good friends, you also need to learn how to be one.

Sometimes it helps to talk to a coach or someone who can help you look at your patterns — the things you keep doing that don’t bring the connection you want.

This Isn’t Just Personal — It’s a Community Issue

We also need to think about this on a bigger level. People need safe spaces — places where they can connect, share, and be seen without pressure or judgment.

Because this isn’t just about individuals. It’s about how disconnected our whole culture has become.

We all want connection — but we need to start acting like it.

Want to go deeper? I can help you explore your own patterns and find ways to build real, lasting connections.

Because yes — it’s possible. And it starts with small, honest steps.